Feelings of loneliness may be linked to the frequency and intensity of our nightmares.
That’s according to two studies recently published in the Journal of Psychology.
Kory Floyd at University of Arizona, Alan Mikkelson at Whitworth University, Colin Hesse at Oregon State University and Whitworth alumnus, and Colter Ray at University of Tampa are the researchers behind those findings. They study affection and its effects on physical health and emotional health.
Spokane Public Radio’s Owen Henderson spoke with Mikkelson, a professor of communication studies and business, about the research.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
OWEN HENDERSON: Give me the 30,000-foot view. What are the headlines of the study? What are the big takeaways?
ALAN MIKKELSON: So the reason that we did this research is that all of us, we've studied really the health benefits of close, affectionate relationships for quite some time. So it's natural to kind of consider the opposite and [understand], ‘How does our well-being suffer and what happens to that when people feel disconnected and lonely?’
And so the big takeaway from this study was that when we experience loneliness — which is in essence when our social needs aren't being met, you can actually be around a lot of people, but because you're not connecting with them at a deeper level, you can still feel loneliness — but that loneliness really predicts the frequency and intensity of our nightmares. So again, in essence, when we feel our social needs aren't being met and we're lonely, we're also more likely to experience frequent and intense nightmares.
OH: So as I understand it, you and the other researchers were working off of something called the evolutionary theory of loneliness. Break that down for me. What does it mean?
AM: Yeah, that's a great question.
So the idea is that loneliness acts as an adaptive mechanism that evolved over time to really signal threats to our social bonds. So, most people have some familiarity with evolutionary theory and most of the time we're familiar with the idea of physical adaptations that make it easier for us to survive our environment. Well, some evolutionary theories propose that psychological mechanisms can also be evolved and adaptive.
So the idea is that the presence and intensity of these nightmares in essence signal to us that we need to go out and form stronger relationships and connect with others and form those social bonds, which if we're being really honest in 2024 — with all of the things that have happened with remote work, with how often times people have to move for jobs — feeling connected and having strong social bonds can be quite challenging.
OH: So we know loneliness has been on the rise in the U.S. for decades. The Surgeon General actually recently referred to it as an epidemic in a report. Now we have these studies that show this link between nightmares and loneliness. How do we move forward from here?
AM: We know a lot about the physical challenges and emotional mental challenges, mental health challenges that loneliness is associated with. So it's also no big surprise that oftentimes we're at our happiest and healthiest when we're connected with others.
But in some respects, we live in a world that is disconnected. And so how do we form those strong connections? And obviously that's going to depend on the person's situation. So an individual who's been at the same job for a long time faces a very different situation than somebody moving to a new town for a new job that knows no one.
But I think taking advantage of opportunities for social interaction. So most workplaces, for example, have opportunities to meet and greet and gather. So taking advantage of that.
I think personally that being intentional with the relationships that we already have, it's surprising to me at times when I ask students, ‘Okay, think about your best friend from your hometown. Like, when was the last time that you talked to them?’
And a lot of them, it might be months. And so just reaching out, whether that's through a text or through a phone call to connect, can be a really powerful way to stave off some of the effects of loneliness.
One of the other interesting findings from some of that research is — and I don't know the exact percentage off the top of my head, but I want to say it's around 20-25% of individuals, younger individuals, don't have one person that they can call a close friend. And so it can be scary at times but taking advantage of opportunities to develop deep and meaningful relationships with other people.
And so when you find that person that you just enjoy their company, say, ‘Hey, let's go grab a cup of coffee' or 'Let's go do something together that we both enjoy.’
And that person will probably be equally thankful for the opportunity to spend time together.
OH: You talked earlier about being intentional with existing relationships. But how do you recommend that people start forging new connections and new relationships?
AM: A lot of times we talk about romantic relationships or we talk about family relationships, but our friendships are quite important to our overall health and our well-being. And so there's a lot of different ways that a person could tackle that.
But I think looking at their current social surroundings and saying, ‘Who's somebody that I could see myself being friends with?’ and then taking the initiative to try to connect with that person.
And I know the rules, especially amongst college students, are probably different than the rules of my generation. But I do think people — many people are sort of starved for a connection. And so when someone does reach out to them, I think usually that's met with warmth and positivity and a desire to to connect and do things together.
I think if, maybe somebody doesn't feel as comfortable with more of a one-on-one type of experience, maybe you invite a group of colleagues, for example, or a group of people that you've met through various social circles or church or other groups you might be involved in and say, 'Hey, let's go do this thing together.'
And I know, again, it can be a little scary at times, but to reach out and to be the one that initiates those relationships.
