LEILA FADEL, HOST:
For many Vietnamese Americans, this week's ceremonies marking 50 years since the fall of Saigon recall both the loss of their homeland and their struggles to make a new life in America. Erin Phuong Steinhauer remembers her mother, who had to send some of her 12 children off alone on tiny, rickety boats.
ERIN PHUONG STEINHAUER: Whether you're taken by Thai pirates and they kill you or they take you to prostitution, or you get drowned in the sea or you starve to death - my mother had to make the difficult decision to allow her children to leave even without her.
FADEL: Steinhauer was 9 when she made it to the U.S. Her mother eventually made it to America, too. Steinhauer founded the D.C.-based nonprofit Vietnam Society, which promotes Vietnamese arts and culture. And she reminisced with me yesterday and spoke of unresolved impacts, from the Agent Orange defoliants that still pollute Vietnamese soil to the very human trauma suffered on both sides of the Pacific.
STEINHAUER: So I feel like I lost twice, in a sense. Right after the war, loss was replaced by fear - fear of persecution, when everything is taken away and you're labeled as a traitor, and then, when we came to America, just feeling lost in this country. I, as a kid, was told that we've escaped, we're here with freedom and that I should just move on.
FADEL: What was it like coming to the country that waged the war that destroyed your country at that time?
STEINHAUER: It's incredible how history can be told from different perspectives. Here in America, the story was told from the point of view that the communists kicked everybody out. The communists were the people who caused all of these problems. And even as I go through school in America, that's what I was taught. I believed that this country saved us - saved me. It wasn't until later, when I searched for the truth, that I knew that we were lied to for many, many years - not just us, but even the American veterans who fought in the war. The legacies of war still persist to this day.
FADEL: On the 50th anniversary of the fall of Saigon, so often, it's marked with analysis of foreign policy failures, of domestic policy failures, of looking back at what happened on that day. Does it address the pain that was caused, the lives that were ripped apart - stories like your family's story?
STEINHAUER: I think it addresses some of that. But largely, the suffering and the consequences of war have not been addressed sufficiently - the fact that people are still traumatized, PTSD among American veterans. Trauma still affects the Vietnamese American community - high rates of suicide, high mental illness issues, and things are still not made right. The path to healing is that both governments and people need to take action - more action. Agent Orange - it's still impacting people today. And even the bombs that were dropped in Vietnam - there are still over 800,000 unexploded ordinances all around the country, still...
FADEL: Still?
STEINHAUER: ...Blowing up people today. Yes.
FADEL: If we were having this conversation in 50 years from now, marking the 100th anniversary of the fall of Saigon, what would you want to be different?
STEINHAUER: I believe the path forward requires everyone to take responsibility. But my biggest dream is really for the younger generation who really don't know Vietnam, who - many of them don't even speak Vietnamese. 40% of Vietnamese living in America was born in America. So losing your identity and a part of yourself prevents you from healing. And I wish, 50 years from now, that we can all find a pathway forward so that our young generations can be free of this burden of war.
FADEL: Erin Phuong Steinhauer, president and founder of the Vietnam Society. Thank you so much.
STEINHAUER: Thank you so much for having me.
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