(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
SCOTT SIMON, HOST:
This Valentine's Day, the musician known as Cavetown is remembering the first time he spotted his girlfriend and the nervousness he once felt around her.
ROBIN SKINNER: We met pretty randomly. We - I guess we were both searching for each other in a way 'cause we met on Hinge. We had a really cute first date where we both thought we were getting stood up at a cafe in Cambridge, but we were just too nervous to go and look for the other person.
SIMON: This awkward date has since blossomed into the relationship that inspired Cavetown's newest album. It's about finding self-love as a transgender man. The 27-year-old musician, whose name is Robin Skinner, walks us through one of the songs on his new album called "Baby Spoon."
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "BABY SPOON")
CAVETOWN: (Singing) What am I going to do with you? I'm broken, and you're superglue. I think I've got to marry you. I want to be your baby spoon. I'm so glad...
SKINNER: My song "Baby Spoon" is a love song about my girlfriend and the way that she makes me feel like I can be vulnerable and gentle and be kind of a baby sometimes. A baby spoon is when you are being cuddled, like if you imagine two spoons lying side by side. And so there's big spoon and baby spoon. And that's something that I think that, being a trans guy - I think you go through a phase of, like, being hypermasculine and trying to push down your feelings 'cause that's, quote-unquote, "what men do." But she makes me feel like, you know, it's stronger to be weak sometimes. And it's - it doesn't have to be a difficult thing. It can be natural and easy.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "BABY SPOON")
CAVETOWN: (Singing) It doesn't have to be so hard. Baby, take your T-shirt off. Put your ear to my heart. Listen to it stop and start.
SKINNER: I started transitioning, I guess, in 2014, I want to say. Even this late on in my transition, there's some things even now that I feel like that are not done. There's never really an endpoint. And there's times where I don't love what I see or I'm confused by what I see, or I even feel dysphoric sometimes. And I think it's really hard to explain how it feels to look at yourself and not see yourself. That's also another, like, trans experience that can be kind of translated into people struggle with their self-image.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "BABY SPOON")
CAVETOWN: (Singing) Yours till the end. It doesn't have to be so hard.
SKINNER: My partner, she never hesitates to, like, remind me that I'm beautiful and that I'm handsome. Being able to hear those things from her, it's just - it has to be true. And it takes some time to really, like, internalize it.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "BABY SPOON")
CAVETOWN: (Singing) Listen to it stop and start. Listen to it stop. It doesn't have to be so hard.
SKINNER: I've never really been in, like, a long-term relationship like this before. I didn't even realize I could have a relationship with someone like her. There's absolutely a lot of anxieties and worries that are just part of the trans experience. And for a long time, I was just like, well, this is just something I'm never going to feel OK with, and so how could anyone else feel OK with it? Everyone says all the time, I guess, you can't be loved until you can love yourself. But I feel like with my partner, I only really figured out how to love myself once she was loving me. And that's allowed me to see myself in a way I've never seen myself before.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "BABY SPOON")
CAVETOWN: (Singing) It doesn't have to be so hard. It doesn't have to be so hard. It doesn't have to be so hard.
SIMON: Cavetown, talking about his new song "Baby Spoon." It's on his latest album, "Running With Scissors."
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "SKIP")
CAVETOWN: (Singing) It's just what you do when you're in love. It's just what you... Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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