Ripped from the Headlines of the Lower Heights Community Center Gazette!

Subliminal messages for your consideration; a new "Life Lessons," complete with fate and bourbon; Kevin and Tony go wine tasting at the Old Factory; a message from our sponsor, Dick Digwood's Infinite Chain of Cars; hard-hitting coverage of Ancient Sumerian laws and mores; a new segment, the Philosopher's Corner; a real Sunday British pub crawl with Stephen Crawley; reviews of movies that haven't been recently released; Papa Guilder tells the Morally Ambiguous Fairy Tale of "Hong Kong Ninja Science Team OA7"; a message from our corporate sponsor, Marital Medications, on making mall shopping more tolerable.