Today’s infomercial poses the question, “Do the things in our kitchens really have to be so sharp, hard, and magnets for knees and funny bones?” The answer is clearly “yes,” but the sketch goes on anyway.

Physics romance author Dr. Eleanor Galsworthy faces her greatest scientific challenge ever: a bookstore signing gone horribly wrong for her new physics romance, The Spacetime Between Us.

Trapped in a hideous sitcom (the terror comes from the laugh-track), the hosts of Trapped Like Rats! (and Cornered Like Lemmings!) come to a startling realization:

The traps are all new, but the being trapped like rats is the old familiar. Your favorite impenetrable prison drama/talk show is back, and somebody is most certainly going to get MASERed!

Since we left on the hand of your "literal" seat weeks ago with Trapped Like Rats! 2, we thought we'd issue this searing follow-up!

Tony and Kevin only interrupt your regularly established cavalcade of comedy to issue a Private Service Announcement once or twice a month. Listen in—you won't regret it!

Yakov has tussled with overdue meters and flat tires, but now he’s meeting his match: the agents of MICE!

Roger Basement sits down with Ernst Stavro Blofeld to talk about pesky Secret Service agents and lucky luge escapes.

His name: Yakov Alexandrovich Turgenev. He's a Russian Parking Attendant, czar of all the parking slots, the man who decides where, and if, you can park in his lot. And he is a force for Good in today's United States of Parking.

Proclaim it from the heights of the world and from all mobile helipads and pool decks! (but just keep your voice down, please) The International Headache Society is meeting in a dim room near you!