It’s the midseason end of Season 9 and thus the beginning of reruns/the Apocalypse. Many End Times predictions go under the discussion knife, however untreatable. But this episode's three and a .5 segments will help the Listener prepare for the next End Times. First, we have a commercial for “Don Capoblanco's Pizza Village,” a mafia-run entertainment center for the whole family! Next, we go to the Threadbare Preparatory Academy to listen in on a faculty meeting, which is the heart of every school, where we learn what fire alarms are really for. Next, Kevin and Tony host a Big Name NPR reporter, showing her a good time by collecting dangerously realistic sound effects. Finally, Tony and Kevin wish everyone—absolutely everyone—a happy holiday, regardless of the holiday and whether on not anyone actually wants one.