Season 9, Episode 25: Rocket to the Future! Part One, Chapter 9: Lost Hitchhikers on Mars

At long last, we now return to the unprofessional antics of the Earth Space Force in the futuristic future: 1992, when the rocket ship Vanguard travels to Mars to put down a Martian rebellion against Earth’s noble empire. As we catch up with the crew, Commander Train and Ensign Zinn, forced to hitchhike on the Red Planet, are picked up by—you guessed it—a Martian wet nurse named Sammy Kahlua. Meanwhile, Lt. jg. Averill Chesterfield III is marooned on Phobos with the spiteful robot Eugene 2000, trapped in a shallow chasm and menaced by fanged chasm creatures! Further meanwhile, Cadet Cindy and Lt. Schickelgruber, who is still strapped to his gurney and without his pain medication, head off in a stolen landing craft to rescue as many of their lost crew members as they care to. And hey, bloggers: Does this episode adhere to Aristotle’s unities of action, setting, and time? Well, yes, if by “unities” we mean “discontinuities”...